So again I'm of the opinion that life should just fuck off
Not a new opinion I know but I still feel it is valid
Now not only am I still waiting on tests and result concerning what is going on inside my gut, but we have found a lump on Dory that will need a mammogram and further tests. Most likely according to the Quack it is a cyst and can be treated easily without hassle. Which is nice and reassuring if it wasn't for the fact Dory is my wife I don't want to hear "Oh its likely this" I want to hear a fucking answer because there are very few things in this world that will make me swing for somebody but messing her around is one of them.
But hell I'm waiting for an answer from a GP that's always going to be fun, I really don't understand why we bother, why not just staff the local surgeries with Nurses and have done. Both have the knowledge to tell you, you have a cold I'm sure a nurse can prescribe anti-depressants with the alarming regularity GPs do and of course Nurses can also send you to specialists when you actually want or need a fucking answer to a question.
Monday 19 November 2007
Wednesday 7 November 2007
Mood
Okay by now you guessed I write this blogg to put into words how depression and other shit effects my mind on a day to day basis and so far I think I've covered the highs and the lows but today is the middle ground.
Not particularly negative about anything yet not really feeling great about anything either, just completely listless is this how well balanced people feel all the time?
Lethargy is possible the best way of summing it up cannot be arsed to post on my normal forum, cannot be arsed to worry about being ill, cannot be arsed to well just about anything. Everything seems so bloody pointless at the moment.
Not particularly negative about anything yet not really feeling great about anything either, just completely listless is this how well balanced people feel all the time?
Lethargy is possible the best way of summing it up cannot be arsed to post on my normal forum, cannot be arsed to worry about being ill, cannot be arsed to well just about anything. Everything seems so bloody pointless at the moment.
The only thing I can say for sure is it's inconclusive
Well went for the test apparently my liver, kidneys and gall bladder are all fine
Yay (though I'm surprised about my liver as abstinence isn't really a by word in my book)
The floor in the tests being none of them actually checked my bowel where the problem is so it remains inconclusive - arse.
Yay (though I'm surprised about my liver as abstinence isn't really a by word in my book)
The floor in the tests being none of them actually checked my bowel where the problem is so it remains inconclusive - arse.
Sunday 4 November 2007
Standing on the edge of control
So tomorrow I go for a scan to see or possible see what the hell is going on in my guts
now I'm really not sure what the middle ground in all this is, but I find myself praying for a stomach ulcer sounds shit doesn't it actually wanting an ulcer. But with the symptoms of attacks of extreme stomach pains and regular passing of blood (strange term passing, it's in me and it comes out where does the passing take place?) the doctor hasn't mentioned much other middle ground.
So we have the two extremes
They find nothing - great you say, but I've sailed this river and spent 5 years with repetitive migraines "Oh Mr Vimes we don't know what causes them so have new idea how to treat them. So just keep necking painkillers" then after 5 years of that shit "Oh lets try this stuff apparently it helps" Well done 9 pills later and my migraines are pretty much under control thanks to a product that has been on the market for 15 years. 5 years of constant fucking around.
They find Cancer - Symptoms are the same as my fathers when he was diagnosed and of course family history.
So either way it isn't looking good and will most likely mean a lot of fucking around
But in better news if we can find somewhere stocking a Wii we'll be buying one soon :)
now I'm really not sure what the middle ground in all this is, but I find myself praying for a stomach ulcer sounds shit doesn't it actually wanting an ulcer. But with the symptoms of attacks of extreme stomach pains and regular passing of blood (strange term passing, it's in me and it comes out where does the passing take place?) the doctor hasn't mentioned much other middle ground.
So we have the two extremes
They find nothing - great you say, but I've sailed this river and spent 5 years with repetitive migraines "Oh Mr Vimes we don't know what causes them so have new idea how to treat them. So just keep necking painkillers" then after 5 years of that shit "Oh lets try this stuff apparently it helps" Well done 9 pills later and my migraines are pretty much under control thanks to a product that has been on the market for 15 years. 5 years of constant fucking around.
They find Cancer - Symptoms are the same as my fathers when he was diagnosed and of course family history.
So either way it isn't looking good and will most likely mean a lot of fucking around
But in better news if we can find somewhere stocking a Wii we'll be buying one soon :)
Wednesday 31 October 2007
Films
In a blatant attempt of keeping my mind into this whole blogging thing and pinching a concept from here I give you a list of my top ten films (In no particular order).
Shaun Of The Dead - Fantastic horror comedy with loads of music based injokes
Hot Fuzz - By the makers of the above but moving the injokes onto film references
Kinky Boots - Just a good old fashioned Brit flick, down and outs do good sparking controversy on route.
Star Wars - Lucas counts this as one film so will I, every time I hear vader breath or a lightsaber I'm back to being a child again.
Usual Suspects - Crime dramas don't come slicker than this
Benny and June - Depps best role to date a really touching film
Fight Club - great acting and an original idea love it
House Of Flying Daggers - Visually the most stunning film I've ever seen
Pulp fiction - Very close run thing but possible Tarrantino's best film
Oooh the last one for the ten going to have to be
Lock Stock and Two Smoking barrels - Genius dialog and yet another great British film
Shaun Of The Dead - Fantastic horror comedy with loads of music based injokes
Hot Fuzz - By the makers of the above but moving the injokes onto film references
Kinky Boots - Just a good old fashioned Brit flick, down and outs do good sparking controversy on route.
Star Wars - Lucas counts this as one film so will I, every time I hear vader breath or a lightsaber I'm back to being a child again.
Usual Suspects - Crime dramas don't come slicker than this
Benny and June - Depps best role to date a really touching film
Fight Club - great acting and an original idea love it
House Of Flying Daggers - Visually the most stunning film I've ever seen
Pulp fiction - Very close run thing but possible Tarrantino's best film
Oooh the last one for the ten going to have to be
Lock Stock and Two Smoking barrels - Genius dialog and yet another great British film
Friday 19 October 2007
Sick and tired
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Okay depression aside I've not been a well bunny and have suffered for years from chronic repetitive migraines/headaches which was never fun. Then towards the end of last year I finally found a pill that touch wood has dealt with that problem I now getting migraines and headaches far less often - yippee!!
But then towards the end of last year a new joy was to be had with crippling stomach pains which did seem to be aligned with eating certain foods (Tomatoes, Chilies, Peppers etc) but the trigger foods kept changing and the list kept growing so off back to the docs who diagnosed a possible stomach ulcer so lots more tests to be had including a fair few to check it isn't cancer something my doctor says is a possibility since it runs in the family.
Now it seems strange but I actually hope the tests find something, because if not I have to continue getting tests and half arsed cures which of course is what happened for years with the headaches.
Add to this over the last 12 months I've had a lump removed that was potentially cancerous and a rumbling appendix I'm starting to wonder if I was built right.
Its all so fucking annoying
Okay depression aside I've not been a well bunny and have suffered for years from chronic repetitive migraines/headaches which was never fun. Then towards the end of last year I finally found a pill that touch wood has dealt with that problem I now getting migraines and headaches far less often - yippee!!
But then towards the end of last year a new joy was to be had with crippling stomach pains which did seem to be aligned with eating certain foods (Tomatoes, Chilies, Peppers etc) but the trigger foods kept changing and the list kept growing so off back to the docs who diagnosed a possible stomach ulcer so lots more tests to be had including a fair few to check it isn't cancer something my doctor says is a possibility since it runs in the family.
Now it seems strange but I actually hope the tests find something, because if not I have to continue getting tests and half arsed cures which of course is what happened for years with the headaches.
Add to this over the last 12 months I've had a lump removed that was potentially cancerous and a rumbling appendix I'm starting to wonder if I was built right.
Its all so fucking annoying
Wednesday 17 October 2007
And crash
Well the feeling good about myself lasted longer than I expected, right up until I decided to transfer my pictures from camera to PC.
Christ I do look like Jason Voorhees I really do
Media paranoia over looks aside I look unhealthily fat, suppose I should do something about it but I have the will power of a gnat as my many attempts to quit smoking have proved. But no I really should do something about it and quitting smoking wouldn't hurt either - in fact I think I told people I would quit in the near future suppose in the not so dim and distant I should really get around to it.
But where the hell do I start?
Eat less? Average day I don't eat a lot anyway and most of what I do is fruit and vegetables, I've cut right down on how much bread I eat and due to the stomach ulcer don't eat a lot of processed junk and take aways because i need to know whats in my food.
Exercise more? Okay this I should do as I've even stopped taking my 30 minute walk at work due to being so fecking busy (As I type this I'm currently fielding calls and running remote links to users PCs) after 10 hours of this and travelling each day I really cannot be arsed when I get home, which isn't a great excuse I know but who cares....
Then you have my great friend depression why bother? Just sleep, wont make any diffrence constantly running around at the back of my mind. Pity is exercise is good for depression and for SAD so you can see why i really need to get moving on this...
Oh well we'll see
Christ I do look like Jason Voorhees I really do
Media paranoia over looks aside I look unhealthily fat, suppose I should do something about it but I have the will power of a gnat as my many attempts to quit smoking have proved. But no I really should do something about it and quitting smoking wouldn't hurt either - in fact I think I told people I would quit in the near future suppose in the not so dim and distant I should really get around to it.
But where the hell do I start?
Eat less? Average day I don't eat a lot anyway and most of what I do is fruit and vegetables, I've cut right down on how much bread I eat and due to the stomach ulcer don't eat a lot of processed junk and take aways because i need to know whats in my food.
Exercise more? Okay this I should do as I've even stopped taking my 30 minute walk at work due to being so fecking busy (As I type this I'm currently fielding calls and running remote links to users PCs) after 10 hours of this and travelling each day I really cannot be arsed when I get home, which isn't a great excuse I know but who cares....
Then you have my great friend depression why bother? Just sleep, wont make any diffrence constantly running around at the back of my mind. Pity is exercise is good for depression and for SAD so you can see why i really need to get moving on this...
Oh well we'll see
Tuesday 16 October 2007
I'm back!
Yes finally I have work time to waste after returning from a rather genius Holiday in Spain
A totally new experience for me a holiday without daily route marches in an effort to go somewhere new, instead there was alcohol and sunshine and plenty of time to soak them both up fan funking tastic.
Plus -as if a another bonus was needed- I was surrounded by people I love, my wife and two of my best mates.
Really not doing my moaning and cynical much good here am I?
Suppose I could launch into a rant about the worst elements in Spain, the British tis true. Go to Spain find a glaring fleapit with as much tackiness and selling as much over priced shit as possible and you can bet it has a heavy British influence, find the loudest most obnoxious drunk they'll be British, each and every time. They want us to believe the trouble with Britain is immigration but the fact is the problem with the world is British emigration.
But enough more about me me me!
Okay an interesting point -well it was for me- as normal at the start of the holiday self confidence was at its standard low and I was pretty much convinced I would be playing the Jason Voorhees to the others Sun lake campers routine, this not being helped by both SJ and Dory being beautiful and deedub being good looking in that strange skinny bloke way thats popular at the moment, it was a tough mental challange just to don shorts instead of jeans let alone remove the normally perminantly attached baggy T shirt and expose flesh to the the sun.
But what fascinated me was the others felt the same way, just in diffrent ways either too skinny, or no shape or too fat or too shapely I mean ffs between us we probally had one perfect looking couple! But of course it was rubbish but in the absurdity of it I released how daft I was being, yes okay it wasn't a sudden rebirth with me believing I was some adonis but shit some times depression is absurd. Yes I might not win any beauty awards but lesson learned if I'm going to preach anti media induced body image twoddle I really should start living it a bit more and relax about it.
So I did happy in the fact I was surrounded by beautiful people more importantly they are beautiful friends - yeah okay and it was helped by the realisation that actually we all where closer to the media perfection than 99% of the other hotel guests.
Okay stopping now before we all drown in a sea of soppy sentimentality
A totally new experience for me a holiday without daily route marches in an effort to go somewhere new, instead there was alcohol and sunshine and plenty of time to soak them both up fan funking tastic.
Plus -as if a another bonus was needed- I was surrounded by people I love, my wife and two of my best mates.
Really not doing my moaning and cynical much good here am I?
Suppose I could launch into a rant about the worst elements in Spain, the British tis true. Go to Spain find a glaring fleapit with as much tackiness and selling as much over priced shit as possible and you can bet it has a heavy British influence, find the loudest most obnoxious drunk they'll be British, each and every time. They want us to believe the trouble with Britain is immigration but the fact is the problem with the world is British emigration.
But enough more about me me me!
Okay an interesting point -well it was for me- as normal at the start of the holiday self confidence was at its standard low and I was pretty much convinced I would be playing the Jason Voorhees to the others Sun lake campers routine, this not being helped by both SJ and Dory being beautiful and deedub being good looking in that strange skinny bloke way thats popular at the moment, it was a tough mental challange just to don shorts instead of jeans let alone remove the normally perminantly attached baggy T shirt and expose flesh to the the sun.
But what fascinated me was the others felt the same way, just in diffrent ways either too skinny, or no shape or too fat or too shapely I mean ffs between us we probally had one perfect looking couple! But of course it was rubbish but in the absurdity of it I released how daft I was being, yes okay it wasn't a sudden rebirth with me believing I was some adonis but shit some times depression is absurd. Yes I might not win any beauty awards but lesson learned if I'm going to preach anti media induced body image twoddle I really should start living it a bit more and relax about it.
So I did happy in the fact I was surrounded by beautiful people more importantly they are beautiful friends - yeah okay and it was helped by the realisation that actually we all where closer to the media perfection than 99% of the other hotel guests.
Okay stopping now before we all drown in a sea of soppy sentimentality
Friday 5 October 2007
Rambling
Nobody is talking on the forums, guess the lazy feckers are actually doing some work or something.
So I'll just post a rambling thread here instead just for my audience of 4
Poor feckers
So this is my last day at work before jetting of to hopefully sunny Spain for a week and so far it has been a fucking shite week, if something at work could go wrong it has often in major stylee so bugger talking about work as its Friday and I'm sick of the place well in need of a Holiday.
Am currently thinking I wish I could do more for the couple who we are going on holiday with, so far this year they have been excellent to us but I feel we have done nothing for them other than be a burden. I know these feelings are heightened by the fact I'm a paranoid depressive nut, but still doesn't mean its not true. Just means it bugs me more than it would other people and fuck knows friendships are hard enough at the moment.
Relationships V Depression
I find relationships really difficult partly because I've always been fairly solitary (not always by choice) but because of the way depression effects me and my way of thinking. I just really struggle to accept that people like me and it really doesn't matter what they do to change that, even to the point a few have gone out of their way to be nice and friendly which ends up leaving me feeling worse because I have no idea how to return the favour and if I cannot return it I feel I'm missing an obligation, which when not returned makes me look like a I'm ungrateful and using them, thus they cannot like me.
Or maybe they don't like me and depression has nothing to do with it, which is always an option.
What also tends to happen is I over compensate for lacking the correct emotional response and must come across over the top and slightly creepy specially as I can never gauge how much somebody likes me so people who are nice in passing get called friend etc. So it's all pretty fucked really
Though possible I'm beating myself up for no reason, which is always an option.
But your married so relationships cannot be that hard?
Oh trust me in the beginning it was but I found somebody who actually enjoyed straight talking and understands that I'm detached at times. Being able to be brutally and bluntly honest with somebody is liberating and I think she likes it as well after all yes I do say some fairly horrible shit at times like "Your talking to much" and "No actually you don't look fat in that but you do look old" which must be a body blow but it also means she gets the flip side I don't pull punches if i like something or when (everyday) she looks good. I also don't play it cool so my comments aren't moderated to the situation and I give them freely and easily.
She also understands me to an extent and understands how I react to situations, like if I'm moaning a lot she knows it isn't personal and I'm actually really uncomfortable in the situation and misdirecting another common fault of mine.
More importantly we love each other and its something I have haven't doubted in years, no matter how far down I go, I have that and it really makes a shit load of difference even though I don't know why I don't doubt that, its just fixed in my mind and doesn't seem to change.
So yeah another post about depression but with a ray of sunshine.
So I'll just post a rambling thread here instead just for my audience of 4
Poor feckers
So this is my last day at work before jetting of to hopefully sunny Spain for a week and so far it has been a fucking shite week, if something at work could go wrong it has often in major stylee so bugger talking about work as its Friday and I'm sick of the place well in need of a Holiday.
Am currently thinking I wish I could do more for the couple who we are going on holiday with, so far this year they have been excellent to us but I feel we have done nothing for them other than be a burden. I know these feelings are heightened by the fact I'm a paranoid depressive nut, but still doesn't mean its not true. Just means it bugs me more than it would other people and fuck knows friendships are hard enough at the moment.
Relationships V Depression
I find relationships really difficult partly because I've always been fairly solitary (not always by choice) but because of the way depression effects me and my way of thinking. I just really struggle to accept that people like me and it really doesn't matter what they do to change that, even to the point a few have gone out of their way to be nice and friendly which ends up leaving me feeling worse because I have no idea how to return the favour and if I cannot return it I feel I'm missing an obligation, which when not returned makes me look like a I'm ungrateful and using them, thus they cannot like me.
Or maybe they don't like me and depression has nothing to do with it, which is always an option.
What also tends to happen is I over compensate for lacking the correct emotional response and must come across over the top and slightly creepy specially as I can never gauge how much somebody likes me so people who are nice in passing get called friend etc. So it's all pretty fucked really
Though possible I'm beating myself up for no reason, which is always an option.
But your married so relationships cannot be that hard?
Oh trust me in the beginning it was but I found somebody who actually enjoyed straight talking and understands that I'm detached at times. Being able to be brutally and bluntly honest with somebody is liberating and I think she likes it as well after all yes I do say some fairly horrible shit at times like "Your talking to much" and "No actually you don't look fat in that but you do look old" which must be a body blow but it also means she gets the flip side I don't pull punches if i like something or when (everyday) she looks good. I also don't play it cool so my comments aren't moderated to the situation and I give them freely and easily.
She also understands me to an extent and understands how I react to situations, like if I'm moaning a lot she knows it isn't personal and I'm actually really uncomfortable in the situation and misdirecting another common fault of mine.
More importantly we love each other and its something I have haven't doubted in years, no matter how far down I go, I have that and it really makes a shit load of difference even though I don't know why I don't doubt that, its just fixed in my mind and doesn't seem to change.
So yeah another post about depression but with a ray of sunshine.
Thursday 4 October 2007
Gone
Bloody hell nearly a week without a post wish I could say it was because I've been leading a wild and exciting life but I haven't.
I even wish I could moan about crippling writers block and the torture this involves (well that's what writers would have you believe, but lets be honest for me and 90% of people writers block is just life)
In fact I have had a few hundred ideas for blog posts, possible far to many to be honest most of which will be ignored in favour of rambling. Just, and sorry for the tedium of it, I've been busy as arseholes at work.
Really would love to launch into a tirade of abuse about work at this point but there is a chance the people at work read this blog and would soon work out who I am - IE the dipstick that takes one lot of peoples abuse when another lot of people balls up.
Oh bless tis been a strange week starting on the upward swing of a massive high mentally which mixed well with a fantastic weekend with good friends then off to see Alabama 3 possible the greatest band around today (I my very biased opinion) but now wait for it lots of fun burning the candle at both ends and boom tiredness mixed with finally having peaked out on the old emotional roller coaster and we are off and flying again don't seem to be heading down though more the good old paranoid kicking in but am currently refusing to go down.
Would help if work wasn't so frigging busy I'm getting short tempered with people and reacting to people badly purely because I don't have time or energy to think on a proper reply.
I even wish I could moan about crippling writers block and the torture this involves (well that's what writers would have you believe, but lets be honest for me and 90% of people writers block is just life)
In fact I have had a few hundred ideas for blog posts, possible far to many to be honest most of which will be ignored in favour of rambling. Just, and sorry for the tedium of it, I've been busy as arseholes at work.
Really would love to launch into a tirade of abuse about work at this point but there is a chance the people at work read this blog and would soon work out who I am - IE the dipstick that takes one lot of peoples abuse when another lot of people balls up.
Oh bless tis been a strange week starting on the upward swing of a massive high mentally which mixed well with a fantastic weekend with good friends then off to see Alabama 3 possible the greatest band around today (I my very biased opinion) but now wait for it lots of fun burning the candle at both ends and boom tiredness mixed with finally having peaked out on the old emotional roller coaster and we are off and flying again don't seem to be heading down though more the good old paranoid kicking in but am currently refusing to go down.
Would help if work wasn't so frigging busy I'm getting short tempered with people and reacting to people badly purely because I don't have time or energy to think on a proper reply.
Thursday 27 September 2007
Under pressure
Wow a startling realisation that at least 4 people read my blog!
So 4 people with less to do with their lives than me...
It's a weird sense of pressure knowing that this garbage is actually being read, is it interesting? Is it funny? Does my arse look fat in this blog? or something like that.
Now I always hoped it would be amusing for people to read even if the subject matter is rather dull and mostly about or stemming from depression, but I had no intention of trying to write a "funny" blog. So why then do know I have had it confirmed people do read here that I find myself with this little inner voice saying "must be funny" "must be funny".
Why do that, why is there is apparent urge when talking to people to be funny, more ironically why does somebody who has depression feel the need to be funny for everybody else? No fuck ya I'll continue to witter on being damn sure not to attempt any funny lines just for the sake of it, then if you do laugh I want you to remember your laughing at the life of somebody with depression so when my remains are found washed up on the shore, or hanging from a bridge I'll get the last laugh as you feel guilty you evil fucker.
By the way an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar
the bartender says "What is this a joke?"
So 4 people with less to do with their lives than me...
It's a weird sense of pressure knowing that this garbage is actually being read, is it interesting? Is it funny? Does my arse look fat in this blog? or something like that.
Now I always hoped it would be amusing for people to read even if the subject matter is rather dull and mostly about or stemming from depression, but I had no intention of trying to write a "funny" blog. So why then do know I have had it confirmed people do read here that I find myself with this little inner voice saying "must be funny" "must be funny".
Why do that, why is there is apparent urge when talking to people to be funny, more ironically why does somebody who has depression feel the need to be funny for everybody else? No fuck ya I'll continue to witter on being damn sure not to attempt any funny lines just for the sake of it, then if you do laugh I want you to remember your laughing at the life of somebody with depression so when my remains are found washed up on the shore, or hanging from a bridge I'll get the last laugh as you feel guilty you evil fucker.
By the way an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar
the bartender says "What is this a joke?"
Wednesday 26 September 2007
The magnificence of twoddle
Bloody hell I seem to have rolled over the depression hump again and now seem quite cheerful for no apparent reason.
Though sadly I'm going to be forced to break the news to Deedub that I'm in a drinking mood and red wine will be consumed this weekend...
Now that doesn't seem a difficult does it, go to mates house, drink alcohol, fall over. Three simple steps even blokes can manage that one
But we fail
Oh we always manage to get together when planned, alcohol is always present but then we start talking, that's when things go completely to pot (no not the evil marijuana type either) hours roll past, beers go flat, wine gets forgotten, films selected after a great deal of debate are never introduced to the DVD player and the early hours of the morning creep up on us without the slightest hint of notice.
Truly mans ability to talk complete twoddle for hours on end is amazing and it isn't just deedub, same thing happens with Jim-bob and assorted others I must be a twoddle magnet, scary amounts of my life have vanished due to discussion on Englands history of tortured genius (One of Jims favourites) Star Wars and its place in history (that's a dee one) and other highly important topics.
Though of course over minor affairs rarely get an edge in like "what are we going to eat" or "So have you planned the Holiday yet", "How are we getting their exactly" trivial things that are really barely worth mentioning...
Oh I just know this weekends plans to discuss the following weeks Holiday are going to be so successful.....
Though sadly I'm going to be forced to break the news to Deedub that I'm in a drinking mood and red wine will be consumed this weekend...
Now that doesn't seem a difficult does it, go to mates house, drink alcohol, fall over. Three simple steps even blokes can manage that one
But we fail
Oh we always manage to get together when planned, alcohol is always present but then we start talking, that's when things go completely to pot (no not the evil marijuana type either) hours roll past, beers go flat, wine gets forgotten, films selected after a great deal of debate are never introduced to the DVD player and the early hours of the morning creep up on us without the slightest hint of notice.
Truly mans ability to talk complete twoddle for hours on end is amazing and it isn't just deedub, same thing happens with Jim-bob and assorted others I must be a twoddle magnet, scary amounts of my life have vanished due to discussion on Englands history of tortured genius (One of Jims favourites) Star Wars and its place in history (that's a dee one) and other highly important topics.
Though of course over minor affairs rarely get an edge in like "what are we going to eat" or "So have you planned the Holiday yet", "How are we getting their exactly" trivial things that are really barely worth mentioning...
Oh I just know this weekends plans to discuss the following weeks Holiday are going to be so successful.....
Tuesday 25 September 2007
10 things I hate about you (possible)
Despite being universally known as a grumpy old git, I actually think there are very few things I really hate in fact I can possible break it down into 10 different things. (Yeah okay I'm looking for a easy way to fill out today’s blog post)
1. Ignorance - The mother load and the one personality trait most likely to make me scream than any other. Now lets be clear what I mean as I don't see ignorance as just not knowing but as not knowing and not actually being willing to learn. Things are fine with this whiled the person just shuts the fuck up, but often they don't and they feel the need to inflict their ignorance on others, at the lighter end of this you have the people who ring IT helpdesks and use "I'm technophobic" as an excuse not to check a frigging plug socket and at the heavier end you have the bigots and racists set on their narrow minded little views and happy to sow hate because it fits their world view.
2. Insincerity - specially from people who do big displays of affection, without really meaning it, I might be wrong but if I don't care then I'm not going to waste my time or yours pretending I do - this also works great for getting rid of telesales people: Do you want to help Suffolk's earthquake victims No, not really But erm err oh..... Good-bye See done dusted and no prolonged guilt trip or hard sell for a charity that most likely do not exist.
3. The human race - Don't get me wrong I like people just not us as a race we're truly a twisted and useless bunch of wankers intent on survival at all costs and even the ones amongst us who do think they are trying to save the world are in their own way fucking it up.
4. Hypocrisy - I'm possible very overly sensitive to this but it annoys the shit out of me. People like Bono moaning about poverty when he has billions in the bank - where it is doing fuck all good to anybody even him.
People who sick booze down their throat almost nightly moaning about the evils of smoking weed and so on and so on.
People who preach how they good they are whiled fucking things over in a different aspect of their lives.
5. People who cannot separate opinion from fact, I'm sure there is a correct term for this but I'll be buggered if I know it.
6. Bullying - really this comes under ignorance but I thought I’d give it some proper attention, now I'm lucky despite being a nice kid who rarely indulged in bullying I myself was never bullied badly, oh there was a bit of it but despite being nice enough not to bully people I was nasty enough to just slug it out with people who tried it on me. Despite that I hate bullies more so the sort of bullies who don't grow out of it
7. Fox hunting - and not just the Tally ho hunting boys with their horses and dogs but anybody who hunts to kill for no reason other than pleasure. Now I do support the right to hunt and kill for food, shit I've even been known to hunt Trout and rabbits for the pot but I never kill more than I need, I always make sure the kill is quick and clean and more importantly I don't do it now you can buy decent well farmed meat in your local store. People who wish to take life for no reason other than they can are sick, especially when those brave hunters use packs of dogs to tear apart their victim to ease their bloodlust.
8. That last one leads me on to cruelty, people who abuse and neglect others seemingly just because they are either to stupid (again ignorance here) or to arrogant not to be the victim an animal, a child or another adult it makes by blood boil there is no need for it and the perpetrator should always be dealt with harshly - possible with the use of a small hammer and various parts of their body.
9. Tabloid scaremongering and the thick tossers who believe it, you know the stuff I mean
"Immigrants raise crime figure" - so crime figures don't rise anyway when the are monitoring more people?
"Police: We cant cope with the rise in immigrant crime" - Actually the Chief Constable of Cambridgeshire has said that her force are stretched when it comes to the language barrier that stops police communicating fully with witnesses and victims of crime who happen to be immigrants.
And it goes on and none not forgetting the wonderful "Political correctness gone mad" stories that grace the pages seemingly every week where there is nearly always a sensible reason for it but hell that doesn't make headlines. I'm currently running a sweepstake of which paper will be the first to print the yearly "so and so bans Christmas" headline.
For further discussion on this see here: http://www.mailwatch.co.uk/
10. And finally, no not myself despite depression I don't hate myself but I do hate when I am guilty of any of the above and it does happen from time to time sadly I'm not perfect.
Be lucky
1. Ignorance - The mother load and the one personality trait most likely to make me scream than any other. Now lets be clear what I mean as I don't see ignorance as just not knowing but as not knowing and not actually being willing to learn. Things are fine with this whiled the person just shuts the fuck up, but often they don't and they feel the need to inflict their ignorance on others, at the lighter end of this you have the people who ring IT helpdesks and use "I'm technophobic" as an excuse not to check a frigging plug socket and at the heavier end you have the bigots and racists set on their narrow minded little views and happy to sow hate because it fits their world view.
2. Insincerity - specially from people who do big displays of affection, without really meaning it, I might be wrong but if I don't care then I'm not going to waste my time or yours pretending I do - this also works great for getting rid of telesales people: Do you want to help Suffolk's earthquake victims No, not really But erm err oh..... Good-bye See done dusted and no prolonged guilt trip or hard sell for a charity that most likely do not exist.
3. The human race - Don't get me wrong I like people just not us as a race we're truly a twisted and useless bunch of wankers intent on survival at all costs and even the ones amongst us who do think they are trying to save the world are in their own way fucking it up.
4. Hypocrisy - I'm possible very overly sensitive to this but it annoys the shit out of me. People like Bono moaning about poverty when he has billions in the bank - where it is doing fuck all good to anybody even him.
People who sick booze down their throat almost nightly moaning about the evils of smoking weed and so on and so on.
People who preach how they good they are whiled fucking things over in a different aspect of their lives.
5. People who cannot separate opinion from fact, I'm sure there is a correct term for this but I'll be buggered if I know it.
6. Bullying - really this comes under ignorance but I thought I’d give it some proper attention, now I'm lucky despite being a nice kid who rarely indulged in bullying I myself was never bullied badly, oh there was a bit of it but despite being nice enough not to bully people I was nasty enough to just slug it out with people who tried it on me. Despite that I hate bullies more so the sort of bullies who don't grow out of it
7. Fox hunting - and not just the Tally ho hunting boys with their horses and dogs but anybody who hunts to kill for no reason other than pleasure. Now I do support the right to hunt and kill for food, shit I've even been known to hunt Trout and rabbits for the pot but I never kill more than I need, I always make sure the kill is quick and clean and more importantly I don't do it now you can buy decent well farmed meat in your local store. People who wish to take life for no reason other than they can are sick, especially when those brave hunters use packs of dogs to tear apart their victim to ease their bloodlust.
8. That last one leads me on to cruelty, people who abuse and neglect others seemingly just because they are either to stupid (again ignorance here) or to arrogant not to be the victim an animal, a child or another adult it makes by blood boil there is no need for it and the perpetrator should always be dealt with harshly - possible with the use of a small hammer and various parts of their body.
9. Tabloid scaremongering and the thick tossers who believe it, you know the stuff I mean
"Immigrants raise crime figure" - so crime figures don't rise anyway when the are monitoring more people?
"Police: We cant cope with the rise in immigrant crime" - Actually the Chief Constable of Cambridgeshire has said that her force are stretched when it comes to the language barrier that stops police communicating fully with witnesses and victims of crime who happen to be immigrants.
And it goes on and none not forgetting the wonderful "Political correctness gone mad" stories that grace the pages seemingly every week where there is nearly always a sensible reason for it but hell that doesn't make headlines. I'm currently running a sweepstake of which paper will be the first to print the yearly "so and so bans Christmas" headline.
For further discussion on this see here: http://www.mailwatch.co.uk/
10. And finally, no not myself despite depression I don't hate myself but I do hate when I am guilty of any of the above and it does happen from time to time sadly I'm not perfect.
Be lucky
Monday 24 September 2007
What a start to a week
8:01am First call to the helpdesk of the week and it is that fantastic mix of lies and complete fucking incompetence.
Dink: I'm trying to login but ctrl-alt-delete doesn't seem to do anything
Me: Okay did you get any error messages before that came up?
Dink: No
Me: Okay can you shut the PC down, check your keyboard is securely plugged in and try again.
Dink: I've already checked that, that's a simple thing I've already done that.
Me: Okay but I need you to try again and tell me if there is any errors messages this time.
Dink: I've checked it and I'm sure its secure
Me: Me okay try powering up the PC again
Dink: I am it still doesn't work
Me: Do you get any lights on the keyboard
Dink: No
Me: Okay switch off again and unplug the keyboard
Dink: How?
Me: The plug you checked before unplug it then try putting it back in.
Dink: Errrr.....
Me: Follow the cable from the back of the keyboard to the back of the PC
Dink: Oh......
Dink: Its not plugged in
Why? Why get snotty because you are asked to do something you have told me you have already done. Why not admit you don't know what your doing and be polite about asking for help?
Fuckwit
Dink: I'm trying to login but ctrl-alt-delete doesn't seem to do anything
Me: Okay did you get any error messages before that came up?
Dink: No
Me: Okay can you shut the PC down, check your keyboard is securely plugged in and try again.
Dink: I've already checked that, that's a simple thing I've already done that.
Me: Okay but I need you to try again and tell me if there is any errors messages this time.
Dink: I've checked it and I'm sure its secure
Me: Me okay try powering up the PC again
Dink: I am it still doesn't work
Me: Do you get any lights on the keyboard
Dink: No
Me: Okay switch off again and unplug the keyboard
Dink: How?
Me: The plug you checked before unplug it then try putting it back in.
Dink: Errrr.....
Me: Follow the cable from the back of the keyboard to the back of the PC
Dink: Oh......
Dink: Its not plugged in
Why? Why get snotty because you are asked to do something you have told me you have already done. Why not admit you don't know what your doing and be polite about asking for help?
Fuckwit
Friday 21 September 2007
A fun look at depression
Okay I suffer from depression, well that's what the quack says. Personally I see it that I'm a realist in a world that is truly fooked.
But depression is a funny old thing really, now this week has been a fantastic week in Vimes world have done lots of things I've always wanted to do and a lot of things I love doing not to mention I have a week of doing nothing but lying around in the Sun just ahead. But even before the memory fades the dark clouds have started to gather and the old emotions get lower and lower the old interest in life starts to slide away and minor problems become small mountains that have to be scaled with only the use of a shoelace.
But why I honestly sit here and yes my life isn't perfect, but there really isn't anything seriously wrong, I'm not dying my wife and family isn't dying - well no more than normal as I've said for once in a long time I've been having the time of my life. But that isn't how depression works it twists within your mind and shows in paranoia and other little ways that gently distort how you think and feel.
First off you have the clinical side where the old brain isn't pumping the happy juice (oh yes high tech terms me) so you feel down because of a medical condition - in my case helped along because I have SAD - http://www.sada.org.uk/
Other than taking pills, which I hate doing, there is very little you can do about that.
But that is part of it the interesting part for me is how your mind reacts by looking for reasons for feeling down, yep despite my highly technical bit above the old mind goes looking for reason anyway. Now like I've said there is no obvious reason at the moment for feeling down so the paranoia kicks in and the old thought process goes something like this
Wow what a great weekend so good of all my mates to show up - But then it was the Star Wars exhibition, so a cheap ticket is an easy draw - but still they where there and it was a great day. They where but didn't you just end up looking a sad fool in front of them - well quite possible but it was fun and at least i got a laugh out of them - but they where laughing at you - but that was sort of the point. Anyway they planned it all and got the tickets sorted not to mention travel all that way on a Sunday just to be there - Yes and in some cases you barely spent any time with them - I tried and I spoke to all of them at some point - Did you try hard enough? - I think so and I certainly thanked them all - all? Did you thank them enough?- Yes I think so besides how do you thank people enough? - Well you know you are crap at showing excitement and gratitude- Well yeah but people know that -Equally did you thank them to much and now are thinking you are really creepy - I don't know - No you don't do you.
See now a nice little thing like going out with friends who have organised a nice thing for you becomes a paranoid nightmare over if you enjoyed yourself enough or too much and that's the only way I can explain depression except you take that and put it to every element in your life sometimes with more subtle sometimes with far less (looking in a mirror is often a mistake when feeling down).
How do you cope? Well I'm not the best person to advice I run between crawling up in a ball and preying the world will fuck off to writing a blog in an effort to take the piss out of the side of me depression thrives on. Seriously though if you recognise those symptons seek some help and talk to your GP about it they can help hell even start writing your own blog about it and feel free to send me the link I'm sure we can be depressed together.
But depression is a funny old thing really, now this week has been a fantastic week in Vimes world have done lots of things I've always wanted to do and a lot of things I love doing not to mention I have a week of doing nothing but lying around in the Sun just ahead. But even before the memory fades the dark clouds have started to gather and the old emotions get lower and lower the old interest in life starts to slide away and minor problems become small mountains that have to be scaled with only the use of a shoelace.
But why I honestly sit here and yes my life isn't perfect, but there really isn't anything seriously wrong, I'm not dying my wife and family isn't dying - well no more than normal as I've said for once in a long time I've been having the time of my life. But that isn't how depression works it twists within your mind and shows in paranoia and other little ways that gently distort how you think and feel.
First off you have the clinical side where the old brain isn't pumping the happy juice (oh yes high tech terms me) so you feel down because of a medical condition - in my case helped along because I have SAD - http://www.sada.org.uk/
Other than taking pills, which I hate doing, there is very little you can do about that.
But that is part of it the interesting part for me is how your mind reacts by looking for reasons for feeling down, yep despite my highly technical bit above the old mind goes looking for reason anyway. Now like I've said there is no obvious reason at the moment for feeling down so the paranoia kicks in and the old thought process goes something like this
Wow what a great weekend so good of all my mates to show up - But then it was the Star Wars exhibition, so a cheap ticket is an easy draw - but still they where there and it was a great day. They where but didn't you just end up looking a sad fool in front of them - well quite possible but it was fun and at least i got a laugh out of them - but they where laughing at you - but that was sort of the point. Anyway they planned it all and got the tickets sorted not to mention travel all that way on a Sunday just to be there - Yes and in some cases you barely spent any time with them - I tried and I spoke to all of them at some point - Did you try hard enough? - I think so and I certainly thanked them all - all? Did you thank them enough?- Yes I think so besides how do you thank people enough? - Well you know you are crap at showing excitement and gratitude- Well yeah but people know that -Equally did you thank them to much and now are thinking you are really creepy - I don't know - No you don't do you.
See now a nice little thing like going out with friends who have organised a nice thing for you becomes a paranoid nightmare over if you enjoyed yourself enough or too much and that's the only way I can explain depression except you take that and put it to every element in your life sometimes with more subtle sometimes with far less (looking in a mirror is often a mistake when feeling down).
How do you cope? Well I'm not the best person to advice I run between crawling up in a ball and preying the world will fuck off to writing a blog in an effort to take the piss out of the side of me depression thrives on. Seriously though if you recognise those symptons seek some help and talk to your GP about it they can help hell even start writing your own blog about it and feel free to send me the link I'm sure we can be depressed together.
Thursday 20 September 2007
Of lists and other things
Yes two posts in one day I am that bored, besides I've been meaning to rip off some of D's lists from http://theblogoflists.blogspot.com/ for awhile so why not now.
Though we both have borrowed from http://separatedbyacommonlanguage.blogspot.com/ which is another great blog, so no harm no foul :)
1. Gordan Ramsey - well somebody would have to cook
2. Charles Darwin - anybody that can upset the church as much as he did is worth inviting
3. Paul McCartney - I'm not a massive Beatles fan but I'm sure he would have some fantastic tales from back in the day, plus he doesn't seem as pretentious as Lennon.
4. George lucas - how did it feel the moment the film everybody wrote off suddenly go global and do you still give a smug smile to the studio execs who shunned Star Wars in the beginning, oh and what the fuck was Jar Jar Binks all about?
5. Simon Pegg - Genius pure and simple
Though we both have borrowed from http://separatedbyacommonlanguage.blogspot.com/ which is another great blog, so no harm no foul :)
1. Gordan Ramsey - well somebody would have to cook
2. Charles Darwin - anybody that can upset the church as much as he did is worth inviting
3. Paul McCartney - I'm not a massive Beatles fan but I'm sure he would have some fantastic tales from back in the day, plus he doesn't seem as pretentious as Lennon.
4. George lucas - how did it feel the moment the film everybody wrote off suddenly go global and do you still give a smug smile to the studio execs who shunned Star Wars in the beginning, oh and what the fuck was Jar Jar Binks all about?
5. Simon Pegg - Genius pure and simple
Musing
Last few days has certainly given me a lot to think on, like the nature of friendship.
Now I'm not going to go into a long spiel about me being some loner happily shunning the world in favour of my own company, cause frankly that lark is for Goths, Emos and people really into masturbation.
Plus in my case it wouldn't be true, whiled I'm happy enough to be on my own and stutter and shy away from large crowds, I've always enjoyed the company of a few good friends I like to talk bollocks (you may have noticed) and set the world to rights over a few drinks. But how does friendship happen, couple of years ago all my close friends where people I'd known for years and nobody else really got a look in. Now except for a few examples I'd much rather spend time with a couple I met at a music festival (actually we started talking online, but at a music festival sounds SO much cooler) and to be honest most of my closest Friends come from online communities, music festivals being the most common denominator.
It comes as a bit of a kick in the teeth for me as I was one of the most cynical buggers about online friendships and it is certainly my more cynical side that gets the most coverage so I do wonder how the hell I attract friends and how I've been lucky enough to make such good friends in with it.
Now I'm not going to go into a long spiel about me being some loner happily shunning the world in favour of my own company, cause frankly that lark is for Goths, Emos and people really into masturbation.
Plus in my case it wouldn't be true, whiled I'm happy enough to be on my own and stutter and shy away from large crowds, I've always enjoyed the company of a few good friends I like to talk bollocks (you may have noticed) and set the world to rights over a few drinks. But how does friendship happen, couple of years ago all my close friends where people I'd known for years and nobody else really got a look in. Now except for a few examples I'd much rather spend time with a couple I met at a music festival (actually we started talking online, but at a music festival sounds SO much cooler) and to be honest most of my closest Friends come from online communities, music festivals being the most common denominator.
It comes as a bit of a kick in the teeth for me as I was one of the most cynical buggers about online friendships and it is certainly my more cynical side that gets the most coverage so I do wonder how the hell I attract friends and how I've been lucky enough to make such good friends in with it.
Wednesday 19 September 2007
Wow what a weekend - part 3
30th Birthday
Monday
Okay not technically a day in the weekend but sod it I was having fun in London still.
Monday started with a slap up breakfast at the hotel followed by a trip to the natural history museum http://www.nhm.ac.uk/. Which is somewhere I've always wanted to go but never got around to it. We spent a great couple of hours looking at dinosaur bones and stuffed animals was actually really interesting always loved that sort of stuff.
Next up was the Science Museum http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/ another one I've always wanted to do but never got around to it, was great fun seeing all the "super advanced" technology of the day like pong and the Sinclair zx spectrum. Not to mention a good reminder of how far we have moved on in some areas but how we still seem to stick with tried and tested methods in other things. Also the exhibition show casing the LHC experiment http://www.lhc.ac.uk/ and the scientist involved in basically causing a second big bang in a controlled environment, potentially advancing our knowledge on how we got here by light years.
Following that we headed back to the exhibition centre to take in both the Dali and Picasso exhibitions, I'm a big fan of both artists so a chance to see their lesser known work was fantastic Dali's paintings based on the story of Romeo and Juliet are fantastic with incredible use of colour, likewise his sculptures maintain the air of surrealism portrayed by his paintings sometimes beautiful, sometimes weird but all seem to capture the imagination.
We finished the day off with a meal at Yo! Sushi which despite the name is a cracking Sushi restaurant that doesn't melt the pocket to much.
Okay sorry for the either the breif outlines or the massive posts devoid of moaning (which ever your currently moaning about) I'm back to reality now so no doubt normal service will ressume soon.
Wow what a weekend - part 2
Sunday
(Conspiracy unmasked)
Despite the excess the day before I felt rather chipper even with the 7am start, caught the bus with no hassle and arrived in London for 11 even managed to find the right underground station
Okay going to take a minute here because a lot of negative stuff is said about the London underground, but personally I love it with a day travel card for just over a fiver you can easily visit all of Londons best loved attractions easily - once you work out the district and circular lines.
Right that said we travelled to our hotel, which was cracking Dory had picked well and got a decent deal. Plus the hotel was right near Kensington underground station which made life a lot easier. We then had a mystery trip (for me anyway) to Westminster underground station, at this point I still had very little idea what was going on and what the plans where, so was in a panic about getting there on time and couldn't understand when we got there why Dory wanted to stop for a cup of coffee until I twigged we where waiting for somebody not something.
So there we where and DW and Sally rolled up which is always a pleasant surprise after a wait another member of the pants rocked up (Kel) and we where off for a spot of lunch at the Slug and Lettuce, by this point I was happy with my surprise a day in the capitol with some of my closest friends. Oh boy was i wrong when i thought that was the end of it.
Sitting in the Slug and lettuce and was excited to see somebody who was the spitting image of my mate Suzie - I don't really do fashion but Suzie has a cracking punk esk look and always looks really cool. Of course it actually turns out to be Suzie and my world starts to get blurry as 20 odd friends from the forum turn up to wish me happy birthday, by this time I'm just in shock and have lost the ability to communicate effectively (Whole childhood loner now with tonnes of friends thing going on here) and could only smile seeing people arrive I was truly stunned.
But it didn't end there as everybody started to leave and we where dragged along in the flow towards the Star Wars exhibition, now I'm a big fan of all the Star Wars films but more so a massive film geek and love the stuff behind the films, the stories, the sets props and effects. So a trip to the Star Wars exhibit was just chuffing awesome seeing the costumes and props that where used (including the Leia slave girl costume!!!) in the films and of course visiting it with a group of nutters like the forum crowd meant it was just jumping the whole time we even made a Jedi blush.
It was indeed a very cool day and myself and Dory finally crashed quite early back at the hotel exhausted, where the final highlights of the night come in with Shaun of the dead on TV, my team hitting the top of the fantasy league and lots of.........
No it really isn't that sort of blog, go find girl with a one track mind.
(Conspiracy unmasked)
Despite the excess the day before I felt rather chipper even with the 7am start, caught the bus with no hassle and arrived in London for 11 even managed to find the right underground station
Okay going to take a minute here because a lot of negative stuff is said about the London underground, but personally I love it with a day travel card for just over a fiver you can easily visit all of Londons best loved attractions easily - once you work out the district and circular lines.
Right that said we travelled to our hotel, which was cracking Dory had picked well and got a decent deal. Plus the hotel was right near Kensington underground station which made life a lot easier. We then had a mystery trip (for me anyway) to Westminster underground station, at this point I still had very little idea what was going on and what the plans where, so was in a panic about getting there on time and couldn't understand when we got there why Dory wanted to stop for a cup of coffee until I twigged we where waiting for somebody not something.
So there we where and DW and Sally rolled up which is always a pleasant surprise after a wait another member of the pants rocked up (Kel) and we where off for a spot of lunch at the Slug and Lettuce, by this point I was happy with my surprise a day in the capitol with some of my closest friends. Oh boy was i wrong when i thought that was the end of it.
Sitting in the Slug and lettuce and was excited to see somebody who was the spitting image of my mate Suzie - I don't really do fashion but Suzie has a cracking punk esk look and always looks really cool. Of course it actually turns out to be Suzie and my world starts to get blurry as 20 odd friends from the forum turn up to wish me happy birthday, by this time I'm just in shock and have lost the ability to communicate effectively (Whole childhood loner now with tonnes of friends thing going on here) and could only smile seeing people arrive I was truly stunned.
But it didn't end there as everybody started to leave and we where dragged along in the flow towards the Star Wars exhibition, now I'm a big fan of all the Star Wars films but more so a massive film geek and love the stuff behind the films, the stories, the sets props and effects. So a trip to the Star Wars exhibit was just chuffing awesome seeing the costumes and props that where used (including the Leia slave girl costume!!!) in the films and of course visiting it with a group of nutters like the forum crowd meant it was just jumping the whole time we even made a Jedi blush.
It was indeed a very cool day and myself and Dory finally crashed quite early back at the hotel exhausted, where the final highlights of the night come in with Shaun of the dead on TV, my team hitting the top of the fantasy league and lots of.........
No it really isn't that sort of blog, go find girl with a one track mind.
Wow what a weekend - part 1
Okay, okay so for all my panic the weekend was tip top so I'm afraid I'm goiung to have to break from my normal moaning routine and give you a quick run down of what was one of the best weekends I've had in ages.
Saturday:
Caught train to Norwich to watch the football with my brother and my Dad, arrived in pub at 12:00 and proceeded to drink solidly until kick off at 2:45 .
Got to the match and watched a fairly typical Norwich V QPR match, with QPR doing their normal "we're playing away from home so stick 11 men behind the ball for 90 minutes". The ref was bloody awful blowing his whistle on nearly ever 50/50 challenge but missing some blatant fouls, the best that could be said for him was he was unbiased and equally as shit for both teams.
Half time more drinking
Second Half much like the first, until the last 10 minutes or so when Norwich finally broke through and scored one!!!! Ironically they scored just as Dad and Brother had vanished to the loo, but i saw the goal and was more than happy until the ref who having totally missed a tackle which outside the ground would have been classed as a mugging minutes before then booked our striker for "Over celebrating" I mean WTF is that about!?!
Any hoo game over and a trip back home and out for a Curry, though I was feeling rather special by then so only managed a few grains of rice, but I was surrounded by some of my nearest and dearest friends so had an absolute blast, luckily they where on top form as I was rather quite - no doubt they'll say it was a nice change.
Saturday:
Caught train to Norwich to watch the football with my brother and my Dad, arrived in pub at 12:00 and proceeded to drink solidly until kick off at 2:45 .
Got to the match and watched a fairly typical Norwich V QPR match, with QPR doing their normal "we're playing away from home so stick 11 men behind the ball for 90 minutes". The ref was bloody awful blowing his whistle on nearly ever 50/50 challenge but missing some blatant fouls, the best that could be said for him was he was unbiased and equally as shit for both teams.
Half time more drinking
Second Half much like the first, until the last 10 minutes or so when Norwich finally broke through and scored one!!!! Ironically they scored just as Dad and Brother had vanished to the loo, but i saw the goal and was more than happy until the ref who having totally missed a tackle which outside the ground would have been classed as a mugging minutes before then booked our striker for "Over celebrating" I mean WTF is that about!?!
Any hoo game over and a trip back home and out for a Curry, though I was feeling rather special by then so only managed a few grains of rice, but I was surrounded by some of my nearest and dearest friends so had an absolute blast, luckily they where on top form as I was rather quite - no doubt they'll say it was a nice change.
Friday 14 September 2007
The weekend is nearly here
So the Birthday weekend is nearly here and I've finally got some sort of plan together, the meal is booked and guest are aware!
But life is never smooth in the Vimes household and just for a little proof that it isn't just me talking out of my arse that my life is annoying, meal booked then they phoned back to announce they had lost their alcohol license and the appeal hadn't come through so they wont be serving alcohol. Yep an Indian restaurant not serving lager...
But them being the nice blokes they are said we could take our own booze, which works out nicely as it will be cheaper than buying theirs. Every cloud an all that!
But life is never smooth in the Vimes household and just for a little proof that it isn't just me talking out of my arse that my life is annoying, meal booked then they phoned back to announce they had lost their alcohol license and the appeal hadn't come through so they wont be serving alcohol. Yep an Indian restaurant not serving lager...
But them being the nice blokes they are said we could take our own booze, which works out nicely as it will be cheaper than buying theirs. Every cloud an all that!
Thursday 13 September 2007
And the days go on
so 4 days until my birthday, still haven't booked the birthday meal because my brother is now sulking about something - possible my mistake I offered for him to come and have fun instead of a "family" do. My co-birthday celebrater got a surprise trip from his missus so is in Magaluf (lucky bugger) oh and the wonderful cash flow has reached the point where cash points laugh before spitting back my card. I'm starting to wonder why I didn't just fook off for the weekend as per my original plan.
Ah but its my 30th it should be special, said my kind but a little naive wife. Pity only her and a few of my closest friends think so
Oh good another depressing as hell blog post, sorry folks I do do cheerful occasionally
just not often.
Now on a different subject I've kept this blog on the quite so far because I wasn't sure I'd actually bother after the first few attempts but as its rolling I may actually share the link on a forum I'm an active member on, they are a bunch of cunts but I love them all dearly.
Plus I'm pretty sure they wont read it lol
Ah but its my 30th it should be special, said my kind but a little naive wife. Pity only her and a few of my closest friends think so
Oh good another depressing as hell blog post, sorry folks I do do cheerful occasionally
just not often.
Now on a different subject I've kept this blog on the quite so far because I wasn't sure I'd actually bother after the first few attempts but as its rolling I may actually share the link on a forum I'm an active member on, they are a bunch of cunts but I love them all dearly.
Plus I'm pretty sure they wont read it lol
Monday 10 September 2007
Roll on
And another day another post.
Great weekend one of those where there is loads to do but you blow it off in favour of good old fashioned lazy inactivity. Finally lost the skull thumping nausea inducing Migraine some time Saturday afternoon but just slumped out for the rest of the day watching episodes of Sharpe (http://www.southessex.co.uk/) Brilliant series based on the books of Bernard Cornwall starring Sean Bean.
Sunday was very similar but with an outing to Roswell Pits in Ely, err no relation to the Roswell in new Mexico, though seemingly some alien intelligence has taken over as the new owners idea of maintaining the natural beauty of the Pits is to dig half of it up and build a mariner so posh twats can park their boats, wankers. But hey sun was shining and the Blackberry's where ripe enough for picking, Dory was in full good life Felicity Kendal mode ......moment of silence whiled the older readers sigh at the memory...... and an average of 1 in 3 Blackberry's actually made it in the bag the others become projectiles or where eaten. We actually made up two decent sized bags of Blackberry's that are heading for either crumbles or a jam jar in the near future.
Whiled flicking around on the old blog front I discovered a friend of mine has started his own blog http://theblogoflists.blogspot.com/ basically instead of just chuntering at you like me he is creating a blog of different lists that come to mind, having known D for awhile i can only guess at what he will come up with.
Great weekend one of those where there is loads to do but you blow it off in favour of good old fashioned lazy inactivity. Finally lost the skull thumping nausea inducing Migraine some time Saturday afternoon but just slumped out for the rest of the day watching episodes of Sharpe (http://www.southessex.co.uk/) Brilliant series based on the books of Bernard Cornwall starring Sean Bean.
Sunday was very similar but with an outing to Roswell Pits in Ely, err no relation to the Roswell in new Mexico, though seemingly some alien intelligence has taken over as the new owners idea of maintaining the natural beauty of the Pits is to dig half of it up and build a mariner so posh twats can park their boats, wankers. But hey sun was shining and the Blackberry's where ripe enough for picking, Dory was in full good life Felicity Kendal mode ......moment of silence whiled the older readers sigh at the memory...... and an average of 1 in 3 Blackberry's actually made it in the bag the others become projectiles or where eaten. We actually made up two decent sized bags of Blackberry's that are heading for either crumbles or a jam jar in the near future.
Whiled flicking around on the old blog front I discovered a friend of mine has started his own blog http://theblogoflists.blogspot.com/ basically instead of just chuntering at you like me he is creating a blog of different lists that come to mind, having known D for awhile i can only guess at what he will come up with.
Friday 7 September 2007
Update
Ha I vanish for a day and you all think I've given up already!
But no actually I'm currently feeling like shit with a migraine that has dragged on far longer than it needs to have, but sod it I only get a couple a year now so I'm not going to grumble.
Have I mentioned the passport issue? Just a little one to help you understand just how fecking useless I can be.
July -
Realise my passport is out of date so need to get a new one
Online form download doesn't work for some reason
Cambridge post office doesn't have the forms
Soham post office doesn't have the forms
August
Finally track down form after a 3 mile hike across Cambridge to find the temporary central post office
Get home realise I don't have the £66 needed for a new passport (£66!!! Prescot has found a new way to halt emigration make sure no fecker can afford to leave the country)
Fill in forms for passport renewal anyway
September
Between filling in forms and having the cash to actually get the forms to leave this country I lose the old Passport and get advice to complete a new passport request.
Great except Birth certificate that has been in the same place for 5 years has now vanished
5 phone calls and much screaming later I finally get told i don't need either the old Passport OR a birth certificate.
So hopefully now I might get a frigging holiday
Yep three months to sort out 1 passport I make ineptness an art form
But no actually I'm currently feeling like shit with a migraine that has dragged on far longer than it needs to have, but sod it I only get a couple a year now so I'm not going to grumble.
Have I mentioned the passport issue? Just a little one to help you understand just how fecking useless I can be.
July -
Realise my passport is out of date so need to get a new one
Online form download doesn't work for some reason
Cambridge post office doesn't have the forms
Soham post office doesn't have the forms
August
Finally track down form after a 3 mile hike across Cambridge to find the temporary central post office
Get home realise I don't have the £66 needed for a new passport (£66!!! Prescot has found a new way to halt emigration make sure no fecker can afford to leave the country)
Fill in forms for passport renewal anyway
September
Between filling in forms and having the cash to actually get the forms to leave this country I lose the old Passport and get advice to complete a new passport request.
Great except Birth certificate that has been in the same place for 5 years has now vanished
5 phone calls and much screaming later I finally get told i don't need either the old Passport OR a birth certificate.
So hopefully now I might get a frigging holiday
Yep three months to sort out 1 passport I make ineptness an art form
Wednesday 5 September 2007
Turning 30
Really haven't had time to think about turning 30, like most birthdays I don't think it will make a shits worth of diffrence.
The funny thing I've found about 30 is other peoples reaction, everybody below 30 seems to think its a big deal, whiled everybody above 30 seems to think "Oh is that all". I certainly don't fear being 30 once the actual birthday bit is out of the way after all I look forward to being an official miserable old git.
Looking around the net a lot of people seem to have this big list of things they want to acheive by 30 well so far I've
Got a degree
Was hugely successful in my occupation to the point of helping lead the rest of the country in new youth working techniques
Quit said career for the quite life
Overcome drug addiction
Wrote an acedemic paper - (participation based youth work)
Wrote for a major music mag (Okay it was Mofo but thats still an acheivement)
Wrote for a major music website (Love or hate efestivals.co.uk it has acheived a lot)
Met more famous people than most
Worked in a top kitchen
Visited 7 diffrent foreign countries (Soon to be 8!!!)
Changed career 5 times
Got married and still be happy
Got into major dept
Okay that last ones a bit shit, but that list isn't bad. Get this fucking dept out of the way and looking at the friends I have now compared to when I was 18 my life will be an absolute roller coaster better than its ever been where getting out and doing stuff is concerned.
So my plans for the years 30 to 40
Actually maintain a blog longer than a few months
Clear my depts
Learn to drive
Quit smoking
Get out more
Stay married
The funny thing I've found about 30 is other peoples reaction, everybody below 30 seems to think its a big deal, whiled everybody above 30 seems to think "Oh is that all". I certainly don't fear being 30 once the actual birthday bit is out of the way after all I look forward to being an official miserable old git.
Looking around the net a lot of people seem to have this big list of things they want to acheive by 30 well so far I've
Got a degree
Was hugely successful in my occupation to the point of helping lead the rest of the country in new youth working techniques
Quit said career for the quite life
Overcome drug addiction
Wrote an acedemic paper - (participation based youth work)
Wrote for a major music mag (Okay it was Mofo but thats still an acheivement)
Wrote for a major music website (Love or hate efestivals.co.uk it has acheived a lot)
Met more famous people than most
Worked in a top kitchen
Visited 7 diffrent foreign countries (Soon to be 8!!!)
Changed career 5 times
Got married and still be happy
Got into major dept
Okay that last ones a bit shit, but that list isn't bad. Get this fucking dept out of the way and looking at the friends I have now compared to when I was 18 my life will be an absolute roller coaster better than its ever been where getting out and doing stuff is concerned.
So my plans for the years 30 to 40
Actually maintain a blog longer than a few months
Clear my depts
Learn to drive
Quit smoking
Get out more
Stay married
Tuesday 4 September 2007
Day 1
Christ knows why I'm starting another Blog I always forget them in about a month or so.
But I guess it fills a need to yatter on aimlessly, which I rarely get to do these days specially as in less than a month I turn 30, 12 days to be precise.
Right I have a plan I'll start by moaning my arse off then the rest of the posts on this blog right up until I forget about the thing will look cheerful in comparison.
So whats wrong:
I have a stomach ulcer it regularly hurts like a bitch and gives me this amazing ability to not fancy anything, but I eat like a pig.
I'm slowly losing my mind, no really somethings not working up there. My memory has gone from that state of Ho ho ho I've forgotten to do something again, to vast moments of not knowing who or where I am, words get jumbled up as I say them, recent memory is so bad at times I forget sentences half way through saying them and putting stuff down has become a major risk of never seeing it again.
Tis all a bit fooked
Whats right
I'm off on holiday to Spain soon with the wife and two of our best mates, well I am if I ever see my passport again - oh yes put it down should have stapled it to me arse really.
Its my birthday soon, really not sure if this is a good thing or not. I actually hate my own birthday whiled loving other peoples. This one being my 30th only seems to be compounding the issue because everybody seems to think it should be a special one pity they haven't all got together and decided to make it special instead I have a pile of diffrent people all pulling in diffrent ways and I'm sap enough to want to try and please everybody.
Erm so far I'm crapping all over my things that are right so moving swiftly on I have my wife who for the sake of blog publicness will be henceforth called Dory, because she is a natural blue and beautiful with it. Together for 8 years and I'm still as head over heals with her as I was when we first started dating, without her this blog would have been called diary of a manic depressive.
But I guess it fills a need to yatter on aimlessly, which I rarely get to do these days specially as in less than a month I turn 30, 12 days to be precise.
Right I have a plan I'll start by moaning my arse off then the rest of the posts on this blog right up until I forget about the thing will look cheerful in comparison.
So whats wrong:
I have a stomach ulcer it regularly hurts like a bitch and gives me this amazing ability to not fancy anything, but I eat like a pig.
I'm slowly losing my mind, no really somethings not working up there. My memory has gone from that state of Ho ho ho I've forgotten to do something again, to vast moments of not knowing who or where I am, words get jumbled up as I say them, recent memory is so bad at times I forget sentences half way through saying them and putting stuff down has become a major risk of never seeing it again.
Tis all a bit fooked
Whats right
I'm off on holiday to Spain soon with the wife and two of our best mates, well I am if I ever see my passport again - oh yes put it down should have stapled it to me arse really.
Its my birthday soon, really not sure if this is a good thing or not. I actually hate my own birthday whiled loving other peoples. This one being my 30th only seems to be compounding the issue because everybody seems to think it should be a special one pity they haven't all got together and decided to make it special instead I have a pile of diffrent people all pulling in diffrent ways and I'm sap enough to want to try and please everybody.
Erm so far I'm crapping all over my things that are right so moving swiftly on I have my wife who for the sake of blog publicness will be henceforth called Dory, because she is a natural blue and beautiful with it. Together for 8 years and I'm still as head over heals with her as I was when we first started dating, without her this blog would have been called diary of a manic depressive.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
