Wednesday 17 September 2008

Bright side

Not all things are shit

As normal I am blessed with a wonderful wife who in her infinite wisdom brought me a guitar for my Birthday which is something I've always wanted to own and of course learn to play.

Not sure if she was quite ready for just how bloody bad my attempts to play it would be not sure if the litany of cHunK CHunK chUnk TwAng Fuckit was quite the melody she had in mind, but she is bearing up and keeping her grimaces to when I'm not looking bless her.

Which is only further proof that she is indeed an Angle of the highest order

For her benefit I have a friend who is giving me lessons and I'm sure won day we will be able to put this pain behind us and make wonderful music together.

Saturday 13 September 2008

Aargh!

Why do I always feel guilty when my Dad rings up?

Daft question I know what it is, its because I know Mum has given him an earful of whittling about us not getting in contact with them.

See Dads more like me, more laid back things happen when they happen - actually I'm not quite as chilled as him, but am more like him on this subject - and seemingly more understanding of the fact we don't talk every night trouble for me is, his tolerance to Mums whittling always breaks just as my brain starts to click "Oh must speak to the folks" and he normally gets in first ramping the guilt.

Oh yes and I do feel guilty, I wish I was a much better son for them hell I wish I was a better person all round. But I'm not shit I don't even feel that I try that hard to be better. My folks are great Dad is a hero and Mum constantly worked and worried to make life better for us growing up, yes we had rough patches some of them darker than others but we survived and mostly come out of things better than when we went in.

In short I love them to bits its me I have trouble with.

Friday 12 September 2008

Only joking...

You know I often wonder if I'm kidding myself if really I'm tolerated instead of liked.

I'm not really sure if that thought displeases me because I must do something right just to be tolerated, nobody would tolerate somebody they don't like would they?

Erm I realise on reflection the questions a bit pointless as they aren't liable to read this, in fact who is reading this? As far as most of the people who use to are concerned this blog stopped without a trace a long time ago and I've yet to outwardly advertise that I'm running it again I should offer a prize to the first person who comments to say they are reading.

In fact there you go first person to comment on this blog gets a free piece of tat from my home, tis genius that should have you running to the comment box instantly.

On a similar note recent developments have lead to a musing again on the nature of friendships or at least my opinion of them. People do fucked up things including myself and my friends, sometimes my friends will do something I don't like whiled I will tell them of my dislike its not my job to judge them on it specially if their actions do not effect me. That's not to say I'd ignore blatant wrong doing but really if it doesn't concern me and they aren't making it my business then well its not my business.

Is that painfully naive?

Thursday 11 September 2008

Back....

So a much needed break was taken now a year since this began I'm back.

Some frankly major changes have happened since my last post possible the biggest being that as of yesterday I have been smoke free for a month, which considering it has been 3 years since I last even tried quitting is quite an achievement.

But more of that later in fact I'll dedicate an entire post to it just cause I'm more than a little proud of the achievements so far.

As always my understanding off the entire friendship thing vexes me , it has been a tough year people I thought I could rely on I've ended up needing to tell to back off whiled others have been there without call. I've decided to not save peoples feelings in this restart fuck'em I'm fairly sure I'll not say anything that cant be fixed if the friendship is worth it. As the year has rolled out we find out more and more just how badly Dory has been fucked over by somebody she befriended and trusted and if Dory who is a poster child for a good friend can be treated like that then I'm fairly sure I'll get no better anyway.

So normal tail of doom and gloom than?

No not entirely, actually quitting smoking seems to have had a major effect on the depression in that it hasn't been anywhere near as bad since stopping!

Who'd have thunk it quitting smoking good for you!!!!