Ho hum

So again I'm of the opinion that life should just fuck off

Not a new opinion I know but I still feel it is valid

Now not only am I still waiting on tests and result concerning what is going on inside my gut, but we have found a lump on Dory that will need a mammogram and further tests. Most likely according to the Quack it is a cyst and can be treated easily without hassle. Which is nice and reassuring if it wasn't for the fact Dory is my wife I don't want to hear "Oh its likely this" I want to hear a fucking answer because there are very few things in this world that will make me swing for somebody but messing her around is one of them.

But hell I'm waiting for an answer from a GP that's always going to be fun, I really don't understand why we bother, why not just staff the local surgeries with Nurses and have done. Both have the knowledge to tell you, you have a cold I'm sure a nurse can prescribe anti-depressants with the alarming regularity GPs do and of course Nurses can also send you to specialists when you actually want or need a fucking answer to a question.

Mood

Okay by now you guessed I write this blogg to put into words how depression and other shit effects my mind on a day to day basis and so far I think I've covered the highs and the lows but today is the middle ground.

Not particularly negative about anything yet not really feeling great about anything either, just completely listless is this how well balanced people feel all the time?

Lethargy is possible the best way of summing it up cannot be arsed to post on my normal forum, cannot be arsed to worry about being ill, cannot be arsed to well just about anything. Everything seems so bloody pointless at the moment.

The only thing I can say for sure is it's inconclusive

Well went for the test apparently my liver, kidneys and gall bladder are all fine

Yay (though I'm surprised about my liver as abstinence isn't really a by word in my book)

The floor in the tests being none of them actually checked my bowel where the problem is so it remains inconclusive - arse.

Standing on the edge of control

So tomorrow I go for a scan to see or possible see what the hell is going on in my guts

now I'm really not sure what the middle ground in all this is, but I find myself praying for a stomach ulcer sounds shit doesn't it actually wanting an ulcer. But with the symptoms of attacks of extreme stomach pains and regular passing of blood (strange term passing, it's in me and it comes out where does the passing take place?) the doctor hasn't mentioned much other middle ground.

So we have the two extremes

They find nothing - great you say, but I've sailed this river and spent 5 years with repetitive migraines "Oh Mr Vimes we don't know what causes them so have new idea how to treat them. So just keep necking painkillers" then after 5 years of that shit "Oh lets try this stuff apparently it helps" Well done 9 pills later and my migraines are pretty much under control thanks to a product that has been on the market for 15 years. 5 years of constant fucking around.

They find Cancer - Symptoms are the same as my fathers when he was diagnosed and of course family history.

So either way it isn't looking good and will most likely mean a lot of fucking around

But in better news if we can find somewhere stocking a Wii we'll be buying one soon :)