The power of triggers

Sorry the updates have been slow recently have been busy and for once fairly well balanced, tis good.

A lot has got me thinking today concerning real world events and its effect on my depression, it does tend to spiral and not always as it should or at least how I feel it should. My mood and sense of feeling seems to work totally independently both crashing me down when I should be happy and yes even making me bounce when the shit hits the fan, I put the being up when stuff is rubbish down to feeling justified that yes I'm low because life is shit.

There are triggers health being a big one stress being another also possible one of the strongest and most noticeable factors is Sunlight dark mornings and dull days are a fooker bright sunshine and a bit of warmth I jump completely the other way (often to the point of regularly becoming quite manic) Seasonal Associated Disorder as they say.

Having knowledge of at least some triggers has actually been empowering to a degree, I know they are beyond my control but at least it is something there to talk me through the really rough times an understanding of why I'm feeling the way I do beyond "Oh its depression". Because I do feel at times it is easy to submit to it and give up because there is nothing that can be done likewise it is easy for others to fob it off as oh he has depression never taking into account there might actually be something wrong - or that's the paranoia talking, admittedly I don't have examples of that from recent memory but its always at the back of my mind specially when I whitter on about depression on here so much.

Tis funny I realise I have a lot I want to get out in this post but find myself rambling possible I'll make this weeks three posts today to try and separate issues.