Now I'm not a classically nice person even with the usual draw backs of depression I'm lazy, quick to criticize and well frankly and insults come quicker to mind than anything pleasant.
But I do try and do the right thing
Like most of my blog posts this has been brought to mind by recent events first and foremost a recent event leading to a change of mind and whiled I am confident I or I should say we did the right thing I'm still left feeling shitty that I've let good friends of mine down something, I like to think is a very rare thing not helped by not being entirely honest.
A little thing on the honesty thing sometimes due to the way I am I feel it is necessary to not be honest, after all "We haven't the money", "We are busy" or "I'm not well" all hold a chunk of truth and sound better than "Actually I'd rather be dead than leave the house" I know very few people who understand the downer* with depression all those that do also have depression.
But anyhoo last weekend we dropped out of going to Bearded Theory festival which I have no doubt will be one of the small festival highlights of the year ad it is organised with the help of one of my best friends and was attended by a large group of my friends so not something I miss lightly, now okay the primary reason we gave for not going is money. Now whiled money is an issue we could have afforded it but the fact is after events over the last few weeks myself and Dory where at breaking point (hell even breaking up point) we needed time just us to sort through more critical to me was the fact Dory was down funny thing is I'm use to being down and laugh it off eventually but Dory isn't and I'm not use to her being down to the extent I nearly missed the signs which IS something I feel guilty about and frankly for me is unforgivable. I was so wrapped up in my own downer I nearly missed my wife reaching breaking point and only talking t her over the last few days has really brought it home just how bad she was getting this is something I will not let it happen again.
Right anyway enough prattle I need some Mariokart action just wanted to get that off my chest.
*I must write about the upside of things sometime
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1 comment:
Apart from the Dory thing, tell me something I didn't know hun. I knew exactly why you weren't there this weekend and I totally understand. We'll make up for it this weekend and hopefully make you BOTH feel a bit better x
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