Fucking evil stuff, when you have money trouble everything has a pound sign food, clothes shit even nights out with friends all suddenly have a monatary value.
Those little treats even small things like a chocolate bar suddenly thats 40p that could be better spent a night out with friends and you start counting millage, drinks cost, will we eat, what can we afford to eat and unless you have had real money problems then you don't get it
Oh my closest friends are really great about it and I'm sure half my problems come from my own paranoia over frienship, but there it is even to an extent friendship ends up with this pound tag on it.
Oh running out od steam now more later
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
AAAAARRRRRGH!
Fuckin 'ell
Posted saying I was going to update this three times a week then have completely forgotten the frigging place.
Oh well so depression in 2008
After a really good New Years and a posative start to the year things mentally went down hill with yet another cancer scare which proved to be nothing again. Some reading this may think i have a fixation with Cancer but honest to god seemingly every small thing I go to the quacks for these days involves Doctor saying "Oh we should get that tested it might be cancer" to the point of the most recent thing where they now seem totally flummoxed that it wasn't really is a no win situation isn't it.
But anyway posativity slipped heavily with a long period of feeling that I wanted to be shut away four weekends on a row i sat at home hiding from the outside world, fractured sleep easily slipping from angry shouty fellah to morbid crying freak the full down cycle. Then as normal it spiked with the usual question "Why do I feel like this?" bud dum tish the clouds broke birds started singing again and all was well if anything I was annoyingly cheerfull.
For two days then we found my wifes Debit card has been skimmed and some little fucker had taken us for £300, which our bank assures us we'll get back but I'm not holding my breath. For the first time in years we where heading towards coming out ahead of the game with some extra spending cash at the end of the month but bang no chance guess we're just not meant to have cash friends have been great offering to lend us the cash, but it doesn't really work like that no harm no foul IF the bank gets our money back but if not its a £300 pound debt on top off being £300 pound down. Did think I'd handled it very well but have just realised I'm snapping and swearing again feel low bugger and the "So why" question has an answer now. Arsebiscuits
Posted saying I was going to update this three times a week then have completely forgotten the frigging place.
Oh well so depression in 2008
After a really good New Years and a posative start to the year things mentally went down hill with yet another cancer scare which proved to be nothing again. Some reading this may think i have a fixation with Cancer but honest to god seemingly every small thing I go to the quacks for these days involves Doctor saying "Oh we should get that tested it might be cancer" to the point of the most recent thing where they now seem totally flummoxed that it wasn't really is a no win situation isn't it.
But anyway posativity slipped heavily with a long period of feeling that I wanted to be shut away four weekends on a row i sat at home hiding from the outside world, fractured sleep easily slipping from angry shouty fellah to morbid crying freak the full down cycle. Then as normal it spiked with the usual question "Why do I feel like this?" bud dum tish the clouds broke birds started singing again and all was well if anything I was annoyingly cheerfull.
For two days then we found my wifes Debit card has been skimmed and some little fucker had taken us for £300, which our bank assures us we'll get back but I'm not holding my breath. For the first time in years we where heading towards coming out ahead of the game with some extra spending cash at the end of the month but bang no chance guess we're just not meant to have cash friends have been great offering to lend us the cash, but it doesn't really work like that no harm no foul IF the bank gets our money back but if not its a £300 pound debt on top off being £300 pound down. Did think I'd handled it very well but have just realised I'm snapping and swearing again feel low bugger and the "So why" question has an answer now. Arsebiscuits
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