Tuesday 25 March 2008

Relative theory

If time is relative and the last hour has felt like 6 hours

Have I aged 1 hour or 6?

I'm feeling: Bored

Media for the moment: Juno just "aquired" a copy on DVD

Today’s negative: It has 24 hours

Today’s Positive: Only 30 minutes left till I go home

Wednesday 12 March 2008

Should I stay or Should I go

Ever been addicted to something but not able to walk away?

And I don't mean like smoking or Alcohol but situations or places, where you go and despite it annoying you, you keep finding reasons to go back. Like prodding at a bad tooth waiting for the pain you get more and more wound up with yourself as much as anything but again you tumble back there "just going for a look".

My vice for this is message boards and web forums I'm normally a member of at least 3 or 4 at any one time, recently I have cut down as my interest in them has waned leaving just a faithful few where either I have an interest in the subject of the forum or one's where I know a lot of the people involved unsurprisingly it is the latter where I'm having the mental song and dance with - for those of you from that forum that read this and twig I suggest you read the rest of the blog to understand where this all comes from.

To be clear I consider many of the people there to be good friends who if I lost contact with them I'd really miss them but this isn't about friendship as I do like most of the members of the forum it's the attitudes that I have come to loathe and the attitude of the forum, more than anything I'm fed up with trying to change it, or sorting out petty squabbles. It's just a forum is an amazing cry from most members (myself included) which does really poke against the idea that it is a site for friends to keep in contact with each other, see in my mind the two aren't interchangeable you are either amongst friends or you are just on a forum and if it is just a forum why not open the doors to all comers?

To be honest the best thing I can do is walk away give it time and go back later when my heads cleared, but frankly I'm shit at that and find myself muddling along there again just to see how so and so is doing before long I'm dragged into it again, I could delete my account which has a certain level of temptation, but I wont because I still want to be involved I just wish I could make myself do it on my own terms.


I'm feeling: Frustrated

Media for the moment: Juno - Saw it last Friday and loved it what a great film

Today’s negative: The above waffle to be honest

Today’s Positive: Chris Moyles played the theme tune to Ducktales this morning so i shouted along, I loved that cartoon.

Tuesday 11 March 2008

Isn't it amazing how many times you have a conversation that goes "Oh did you hear so and so the other night"
"No they're shit"
"Oh have you heard them before then"
"No"

How the hell do people manage to form such a complete opinion on something with absolutely no experience of it? Its genius really wish I could do it. Would certainly save me hours of my life experiencing different music, films, people etc if I could just say no its shit and have people instantly respect my right to give that opinion and have it as valid as anybody else’s.

Well at least they don't wimp out and say "It just doesn't appeal" or "Not something that interests me really" heaven forbid they would spare anybody else’s feelings on the matter.

I'm feeling: Tired but happy

Media for the moment: Nirvana - Dumb

Today’s negative: Tired, keep trying to catch up with my sleep but it keeps getting away

Today’s Positive: Friends of mine are back from holiday and have been in touch.

Friday 7 March 2008

The definitive festival lists

Okay from memory Deedub will be back next week so the legendary http://theblogoflists.blogspot.com/ will be running again, so this will be last of my knock off versions for awhile.

So I dedicate it to a subject close to my heart MUSIC FESTIVALS

First of a list of the top five English music festivals (In my personal opinion of course)

1. Glastonbury - The Daddy still the biggest and best in the UK

2. Beautiful Days - Still my favourite small festival and one I hope to return too soon

3. Strawberry fayre - Last of the original Fayres and best free festival in the UK

4. Reading/Leeds - If the line up is your thing these tend to have all the best acts

5. Stamford River festival - Made the for the randomness of lots of very pristine middle class people in a beautiful river side location with some mad at your Dad rap metal pounding away on stage, genius!

(I kept this list to 5 due to only wanting to include ongoing music festivals that I've actually been too)

Kit list - ten things you should always take to a festival

1. Dust bin bags - keep your campsite clean and brilliant for DIY seats and waterproofs

2. Tent - well duh

3. Gaffer tape - I've yet to not use up at least one roll of this at any festival

4. Bog roll - No really festivals don't often provide them

5. Wet Wipes - The Pikey wash option

6. Leatherman tool - For some reason I turn into Mr DIY at festivals

7. Good waterproofs - and I mean GOOD waterproofs festivals can leave you standing in the rain for hours on end best be ready.

8. Suncream - trust me sunburn is no fun at festivals

9. Military Poncho - Another multi use item good for all occasions

10. Good boots - no matter what the weather you will walk miles at festivals and night times rough ground, dropped rubbish and low light can lead to nasty sprains, I go for German paraboots personally but whatever works for you.


10 top tips

1. Take only what you can afford to lose

2. Have a list of things you want to see but remember to take time just to go with the flow

3. Put your bog roll on a loop of blue string so you can hang it around your neck when you go to the loo, it keeps it dry and will stop you losing it

4. Insulate under your bedding you will lose most heat when you are trying to sleep through the ground so a good insulated ground sheet is a must

5. No such thing as the wrong weather just the wrong clothes, pack your gear with that in mind but don't forget most stuff can be brought inside the festival if really needed.

6. Take time to people watch, some of my best festival moments have come about through this advice.

7. After pitching your tents mark in your mind three large permanent landmarks to help navigation back to your tent when you are feeling a bit special

8. Drink plenty of water, the key to a healthy and active festival keep the water levels up and it will help you deal with hangovers, tiredness and even the dreaded festival belly.

9. Look after yourself and others, take time to talk to those camped near you and they will help keep an eye on your gear whiled you do so for them.

10. When buying anything be it food, drink or festival tat get away from the main stages prices tend to drop the further from the main routes you are.

Hope you have enjoyed my journey into the world of lists over time I may add a few more, but for now I'll return to bitching and moaning.

Thursday 6 March 2008

The rich list

Suppose as I'm doing lists I'd better cover the new Forbes rich list out today, the top ten are:

FORBES TOP 10 (in $bn)
Warren Buffett (US): 62
Carlos Slim (Mexico): 60
Bill Gates (US): 58
Lakshmi Mittal (India): 45
Mukesh Ambani (India): 43
Anil Ambani (India): 42
Ingvar Kamprad (Sweden): 31
KP Singh (US): 30
Oleg Deripaska (Russia): 28
Karl Albrecht (Germany): 27

10 facts about the list

1. A record 1,125 individuals with a combined net worth of $4.4 trillion made it into Forbes' 2008 list of billionaires.

2. Never before in human history have so many people in so many parts of the world advanced so quickly economically

3. Two-thirds of those on the list are classified as self-made billionaires, and 50 of them are under the age of 40.

4. Mark Zuckerberg, 23, the founder of the social networking site Facebook, joins the list as the world's youngest billionaire.

5. Bill Gates was the world's richest man for 13 years - but no more
His $1.5bn fortune makes him the world's 785th richest person, Forbes reports.

6. Patrice Motsepe joins the list as South Africa's first black billionaire with a net worth of $2.4bn.

7. The world's richest woman is the French L'Oreal chief, Liliane Bettencourt, 17th on the Forbes list with a net wealth of $22.9bn.

8. Other inclusions in the ultra-rich list include US chat-show host Oprah Winfrey, ($2.5bn), property mogul Donald Trump ($3bn), and Harry Potter author JK Rowling ($1bn).

9. If the top 100 hundred on this list clubbed together they could clear the entire national debt of the third world and still make it onto the list next year

10. I've run out of facts so here's the link to the forbes site to find out more for yourself - http://www.forbes.com/

Wednesday 5 March 2008

Telephones

I really dislike telephones which is sadly ironic as I work on a Helpdesk where the phones ringing all the time, though this is possible in its self enough of a reason to hate them.

But no, I hate them for the complete lack of manners.

Imagine yourself sitting at home watching TV maybe having a crafty snuggle with the missus or in the middle of eating your tea, when somebody comes running in screaming "TALK TO ME, TALK TO ME". Annoying yes?

But it's exactly what telephones allow people to do, shouting for your attention cause somebody wants to sell you double fucking glazing or more annoyingly wants to sell you another fucking phone FUCK OFF!

And they are 24/7 there is no escape any time of the night or day it can just go off with another person demanding your attention or most usually demand you listen to their sales pitch oh but you cant unplug the fucking thing after all it might be an emergency somebody might desperately need you, though lets be honest that's is about o.o1% of the time but who knows it might be which is really just the negative version of buying a lottery ticket.

On the reverse I love text messages being able to fire of random thoughts and messages to family and friends for them to read at their leisure and just as importantly I can read at my leisure or just click delete when I'm not interested. I love getting random text messages from friends which is unusual for me as I've never really bothered about stuff like that but it is nice to know how they are and how they are doing.

I'm covering up that I'm missing my friends who are away on holiday well aren't I?

I'm feeling: Tired everything feels far to much effort and most likely is

Media for the moment: Nirvana Serve the servants

Today's negative: Far, far to busy with people wasting my time and needing their hand holding

Today's Positive: A customer taking a moment to acknowledge they had been rude and to say thank you for my time.

To Hell and back again the horror movies lists

I know I'm going to run the there and back again thing into the ground at this rate, but hay ho tis all good.

Right after discovering a "expert" opinion list of Sci-Fi movies I thought I would try and see if I can find a similar thing for Horror films, I mean phsycologists seem to be ten a penny surely some one might have asked them what they think of a few movies?

But so far my search has been fruitless but I will continue and bring you the results should they appear, for now I give you the film experts opinions from Rotten Tomatoes http://uk.rottentomatoes.com/ who may not be horror specialists but do know an awful lot about films

1. Psycho (1960)
Is there any suitable argument why Psycho wouldn't be numero uno on the list? After all, Hitchcock's masterpiece not only changed the public's sentiment on showering -- the lather, rinse and repeat routine was never the same again -- but it also single-handedly invented the modern horror film. What makes the film such a terrifying experience is a combination of supremely eerie elements: The lonely motel, the equally lonely but clearly mentally unstable Norman Bates and, lest we forget, dear 'ol Mother. Despite a series of substandard sequels and Gus Van Sant's ill-fated attempt at remaking the film frame-by-frame with none other than man-boy Vince Vaughn on board, the flawlessly executed original will forever remain a classic.

2. King Kong (1933)
When you think of what makes up a horror movie, the first thing that generally comes to mind is something along the lines of blood, guts and gore, not necessarily a gigantic gorilla. But that, friends, is the great thing about King Kong -- it's not a horror movie in the traditional sense. Sure, at first glance Kong appears to be just another hirsute monster wreaking havoc on the big screen, but he's not so much a creature of destruction as he is a misunderstood beast provoked to unleash aggression in order to live up to an image of being a beastly eighth wonder of the world. Looking back, the special effects of the 1933 film may pale in comparison to the modern-day wizardry seen in Peter Jackson's update. However, director Merian C. Cooper certainly deserves recognition for paving the way for future special effects spectacles like Jurassic Park -- not to mention the creature-feature in general.

3. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Nothing is more annoying than having a conversation interrupted by brain-eating zombies. Just ask Shaun, the title character of Edgar Wright's instant horror-comedy hit Shaun of the Dead. The slacker's mundane existence is turned upside down when the Walking dead suddenly begin taking over the city, which only further throws a wrench into his plan to win back the waning affection of his girlfriend. The killer comedy from 2004 achieved cult status for its distinctly British flare and, of course, for its cast of slowly, shuffling zombies that all too fittingly reflect the monotony of the living world.

4. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
Courtesy of Knocked Up, we've seen the consequences of a one-night stand. So, what could possibly be worse than giving birth to Seth Rogen's offspring? Uh, how about popping out Lucifer's lovechild? In Roman Polanski's insanely creepy 1968 film Rosemary's Baby, that's the unfortunate fate of Mia Farrow's character. After having a hellish dream involving a tryst with the Beast, Rosemary descends into a state of paranoia and madness with the belief that she's been impregnated with a demon seed. The success of the film is due in part to the ambiguity that Polanski presents; we never really know if all this is just a hallucination.

5. The Devil's Backbone (2001)
Guillermo del Toro's The Devil's Backbone is a beautiful, haunting ghost story that suggests restless spirits aren't necessarily always intent on sending shivers up our spines, but perhaps attempting to communicate a message to the living in the hope of finding peace in the afterlife. Set against the backdrop of the Spanish Civil War, The Devil's Backbone focuses on an orphan named Carlos who encounters the ghost of Santi, a young boy who recently died during an attack. Once Carlos learns the truth behind Santi's passing, he makes a promise to avenge the boy's death. A meditation on the horror and atrocities of war, del Toro's dark tale effectively breathes life into the oft-tired genre of ghost stories.

6. 28 Days Later (2003)
Set in an unnaturally desolate London, 28 Days Later showcases the aftermath of a pandemic viral outbreak that results when a team of well-intentioned animal rights activists release caged primates infected with the virus. The disease, simply known as "the rage," is transmitted through blood and transforms the average citizen into a murderous fiend. The infected, while not zombies per se, take on a similar quality in that they attack en masse, but with much more skill and agility than the walking-dead. While Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later is rooted in fantasy, the film ruminates on the possibility of a man-made contagion being released and the effects it would have on the world at large. And honestly, what's scarier than that?

7. The Evil Dead (1979)
Oh, Bruce Campbell, our ample chinned hero. Where would slapstick horror-comedy be without you? To its credit, The Evil Dead is responsible for introducing the low-budget cinema cult icon to horror hounds around the globe. And so, for that reason alone, the film should be heralded as a classic. Sure, its plot is generic -- as if we have any doubts about the fate of a group of friends traveling into the woods these days -- but it's become a staple of late-night popcorn sessions. The Evil Dead also gave new meaning to the warning: "Don't go into the woods alone." Need viewers be reminded of the forest's, uh, sexual appetite?

8. The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Rife with campy sensibilities, The Bride of Frankenstein is a combination of horror and comedy, but not necessarily in the same vein as, say, The Evil Dead or Shaun of the Dead. The film's comedic underpinnings are evident in the overly dramatic facial expressions of the bride, who manages to evoke a belly laugh with a simple turn of the head. However, James Whale's picture is still very much a horror film -- the monsters, after all, are assembled from dead bodies. As far as Frankenstein sequels go, The Bride of Frankenstein is by far the most worthwhile of the bunch.

9. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn is a low-budget horror comedy at its best. The blood-soaked splatter fest takes the typical horror set-up -- a group of friends visit the woods where evil rears its ugly head and all-out madness ensues -- and makes a satire of it. The extreme violence and gore that saturates this sequel to The Evil Dead isn't intended to shock viewers, but rather inspire audiences to keel over with laughter because of the sheer absurdity of it all. As evidenced by the complete Evil Dead trilogy, director Sam Raimi and his horror cohort Bruce Campbell have a knack for turning scary into funny without compromising those essential nausea-inducing moments of gore.

10. Repulsion (1965)
At its core, Roman Polanski's wicked psychological thriller Repulsion is a tale of madness and paranoia. Carol, played by the enigmatic Catherine Deneuve, is convinced that pretty much any man is a potential assailant, due to some seriously repressed sexual feelings. When Carol's sister leaves for the weekend, the young woman is left alone, and madness slowly begins to set in. Eventually, the young woman's hallucinations inspire violence, and she kills any man she deems the least bit threatening. This beautifully-shot black-and-white film was Polanksi's first in English, and is often considered one his greatest achievements.

I'm really struggling to think of a definitive top ten of horror films as there is loads I love, but currently it looks something like this

1. Night/Dawn/Day/Land of the Dead by George A Romero - I love Zombie films, I love survivor flicks these are the daddies of them both (Cheap 80s remakes aside)

2. The Exorcist (1973) - Genius film far ahead of its time and still scary 30 odd years on

3. Poltergeist - The slow build up and false ending keep me riveted a really well told story

4. Friday the 13th - For me the best of the slasher films a cracking series not let down to badly by the sequels and remakes (unlike Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street)

5. The Omen (1976) - Another creepy kid film with a great mixture of mood and music setting each scene

6. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - The Daddy of gore films, great, scary and gross film often copied never beaten

7. Blair Witch - You either got this film or didn't I did and loved it

8. The Hills have eyes (1977) - I'll never forget the first time I saw this film and the fact it actually had me on the edge of my seat waiting for what happens next (remake wasn't bad either)

9. The Evil Dead - had to make an appearance on here at some point

10. Any of the Hammer horror films - A cop out choice but they're all good

You'll note I've missed out Shaun Of The Dead because well frankly its possible a forerunner in my greatest movies of all time list and far more than a Horror film

Tuesday 4 March 2008

To space and back again the Sci-Fi list

Keeping my lists on a Sci-Fi feel for now I went in search of a definitive top ten list of the best Sci-Fi films, predictable this sort of list falls into 3 categories the expert panel, the viewers vote and of course the personal opinion. Never one to shy away from a task I'll try to represent all three here - though I'm slightly shocked that none of the available web ones are that recent!!!

First of one from the Guardian (http://www.guardian.co.uk/) who selected a Panel of leading scientists who all gave their views on what makes a good Sci-Fi film and put forward their own favourites.


1. Blade Runner (1982) Dir: Ridley ScottWhether you prefer the original theatrical version (with a bored-sounding narration and without the famed unicorn scenes) or the director's cut of a few years later (sans narration and unicorn duly re-inserted), Blade Runner was the runaway favourite in our poll.


2. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Dir: Stanley KubrickA very close second, this mystifying story came out of a collaboration between Kubrick and science fiction writer Arthur C Clarke. It achieved enormous fame for its then revolutionary special effects.

3. Star Wars (1977)/Empire Strikes Back (1980)The first two films of the original Star Wars trilogy make it onto the list probably for reasons of nostalgia rather than science.

4. Alien (1979) Dir: Ridley ScottRemembered for the iconic scene of an infant creature bursting bloodily through John Hurt's chest, but Alien was about much more. An interstellar mining vessel takes onboard a lifeform with concentrated acid for blood and two sets of jaws, which then messily dispatches the crew.

5. Solaris (1972) Dir: Andrei TarkovskyRemade by Steven Soderbergh in 2002, but the original still holds a fascination for fans of the novel by Stanislaw Lem. A psychologist travels to a base on a remote planet to replace a mysteriously deceased scientist. There he encounters the secretive survivors - and his dead wife. Reality is supplanted by the increasingly attractive alternative of the planet's alien intelligence.

6. Terminator (1984)/T2: Judgment day (1991) Dir: James CameronRobots from 2029 send a relentless cyborg (Arnold Schwarzenegger) back to 1980s Los Angeles to assassinate the mother of a future human rebel. One of a few films to deal with problems of time travel, such as the grandfather paradox: if you travel back in time and kill your grandfather, you wouldn't exist so wouldn't be able to travel back in time to...

7. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) Dir: Robert WiseSet amid the cold war paranoia of postwar America, a flying saucer lands in Washington DC and a humanoid alien, Klaatu emerges, accompanied by his robot, Gort.

8. War of the Worlds (1953) Dir: Byron HaskinFamously adapted for radio by Orson Welles, HG Wells' tale of a Martian invasion of Earth became another cold war movie.

9. The Matrix (1999) Dir: Andy & Larry WachowskiCod philosophy, fetish clothing and incredibly cool special effects combined in 1999 for a fresh take on man-made artificial intelligence enslaving the planet.

10. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) Dir: Steven Spielberg"We are not alone", declared the poster and this tale of Richard Dreyfus' escalating obsession with alien visitors against a backdrop of a secretive, omniscient government agency has provided the core of science fiction ever since.

The full list and high brow comments can be read here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/news/page/0,12983,1290764,00.html

Now comparatively a list of voters favourites taken from http://www.sfx.co.uk/ an online Sci-fi site - so its viewers really should know what they are talking about

Their top ten
1. Serenity
2. Star Wars
3. Blade Runner
4. Planet of the Apes
5. The Matrix
6. Alien
7. Forbidden Planet
8. 2001: A Space Odyssey
9. The Terminator
10. Back to the Future

This poll was early last year so Serenity's popularity could be down to Serenity's and of course Fireflies resurgence as a geek fodder with the early curtailment of the series, but you can read their reactions here: http://www.sfx.co.uk/page/sfx?entry=lord_of_the_fireflies

Now of course personal opinion with the only opinion I trust on these matters

Mine

1. Blade Runner - this film is awesome whatever version you see and deserved its high positions in both the above polls.

2. Star Wars saga - yeah okay sullied slightly by the recent prequels and shunned by the so called intellectual crowd but still a great story containing every element of story telling you could want with effects far beyond anything seen before.

3. Serenity - Yea I'm all over this geek train, give Han Solo a break from the sulky Jedi and the bagel headed princess and he would be Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds.

4. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) - You don't need effects when you tell a story this good, funny thing is I watched it again the other day and the story still works some 50 odd years later, bloody hope the remake doesn't mess with it too much.

5. Alien - Should be standard watching for want to be directors a great lesson in how to build suspence and when to and when not to play by the conventional rules.

6. Barbarella - Because I'm male and have a pulse basically

7. Event Horizon - Just good Sci-Fi horror

8. The Thing - Scared the shit out of me as a child and still gets the pulse racing now

9. Donnie Darko - A great story one of a very few time travel movies that work

10. Back to the future - I hate time travel films but these work because they do show how actions effect the outcome through time which is more than most and good for basically a teen comedy

Wow possible my longest post yet but i can see why deedub is so interested in lists.

Monday 3 March 2008

Here and back again the lists

Okay I like the template but for the next couple of weeks my friend and creater of http://www.theblogoflists.blogspot.com/ is on holiday, so I thought I would keep the lists going in his absence - though obviously with my own spin on it.
(Shit I've been wanting to nick that idea for ages)

To start with a list about both Tunisia AND Star Wars just to make Deedubya the author of blog of lists happy.

The top ten places a Star Wars geek should visit in Tunisia

1. Sidi Bouhel - the Juntland Wastes - This is where the Jawas captured R2D2 and of course the first place Luke met Obi Wan in episode 4 A New Hope

2. Chott El-Jerid - The Lars homestead - Luke adopted parents home and the site for Shmni Skywalkers funeral - Episodes 2 and 4

3. La Grande Dune - Dune Sea - R2-D2 and C-3PO crashed in Episode IV and where Ben Kenobi's hut and Jabba's Palace were supposedly located (in actuality these locations were shot elsewhere).

4. Ongh Djemel - The area overlooks the valley where Darth Sideous made his first appearance. It was also the set for the famous pod-race scenes and the location where Darth Maul launched the hunt for the Naboo Royal Starship and fought Qui-Gon Jinn.

5. Yardangs in Chott El-Gharsa - These rocks standing proud of the desert like shark fins where the backdrop for a number of Star Wars scenes, most notable the first duel between Qui con and Darth Maul (the metal frame for the gas ramp used by Ray Parks is still there) - A short distance from the Yardiangs is also where Anakins slave quarters and the mos Espa set was.

6. Matmata and the Sidi Driss Hotel - Where the internal shots for the Lars Homestead where shot

7. Medinene - Formed the backdrop for Anakins goodbye to his mother in Episode 1

8. Tatouine - Yep the town which lent its name to the planet from the film, interesting fact here is none of the film was filmed in Tatouine though the hills nearby where a regular locality shot.

9. The Isle of Djerba - home to 3 Star Wars destinations - Sidi Jemour, Obi Kenobi’s hut and Ajim.

10. Sidi Jemour - is where the scenes of Obi-Wan and Luke entering Mos Eisley were filmed. Rumour has it that a deleted exterior sequence for the Anchorhead was shot here as well.
Todays Waffle:
Post templates!!!

In a desperate attempt to get myself using this blog on a more regular basis I'm being lazy and set myself a post template just to see how it goes, now as my main critic is currently sunning himself in Tunisia (why does Adrian Mole come to mind?) I'll run with it until he gets back.

So just encase you cannot keep up a post to describe each element of the template starting with waffle which is pretty self explanatory unless of course your American where I believe a waffle is a breakfast (?) snack like a pancake. So an exert from the Cambridge English dictionary

waffle (TALK) verb [I] DISAPPROVING to talk or write a lot without giving any useful information or any clear answers

Which pretty much sums up most of my posts


I'm feeling:

Feelings lets all talk feelings, well as this blog is my attempt to log my ride with depression so getting the feelings across sort of help reach that aim.

Media for the moment:
I pretty much soundtrack my days with either music or films plus whiled people might not understand my words for expressing myself they may understand my choice of media

Todays negative:
Well I'm meant to moan here goes

Todays Positive:
An attempt to follow some advice given to me by a motivation coach and keep a positivity log who knows might work.

Lets see how it goes